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1995-04-23
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71 lines
Subject: The truth
Date: 15 Jan 1995 00:56:04 GMT
Organization: Middlesex University, London, England
Lines: 61
Message-ID: <3f9rr4$hr9@epsilon.qmw.ac.uk>
Reply-To: andrew27@vaxb.mdx.ac.uk
NNTP-Posting-Host: vaxb.mdx.ac.uk
Understandably, the idea that somebody, somewhere, knows
he real truth about the alien mystery, is a rather tantalizing
prospect.i.e. Do they really exist, if so what form do they take
etc etc. All the things that are talked about over and over again
in this group.
Well, you might be pleased to know that I have all the answers.
O.K. You don't believe me, that doesn't matter, let's face it
if you are scared of spiders or reptiles then don't really
want to know the truth about aliens, do you?
Still, if your are interested, there are three ways of recieving
the truth. I must stress however that if you are afraid of insects,
you probably don't want to know, after all, you still have to live
even after a partial enlightenment. Also, if you have ever been
in a room where the kettle, for no apparent reason, switched itself
on, without human involvement, you may already be close enough to the
source, your lot, is simply to sit and wait, it is safer that way.
In every individual case you must consider how a malleable a personality
you have. The forces we are dealing will easily destroy anyone who isn't
utterly flexible.
For instance; you have coffee every morning, two slices of toast,
and rarely deviate from this pattern. Any idiosyncracy you feel the
toast may posses you mark in a file called 'whimsy' and leave it there.
You hate skimmed milk. Please don't read on. The toast changes, youe
are still very young in your thinking. You won't expand, you will
explode
If, at any point in the reading of this message you have suspected
that a government body is monitoring every instance of this message
being read, you'd better quit now. They are only interesting in people
using commercial servers, if you are at work or at college you can
forget it.
O.K. Number one: Reconsider the neuronic role of this message in
reordering your previous scepticism about aliens, whilst flicking
you minds eye backwards and forwards over the rituals of various
world religions
Number two: Take half an asprin and crush it into a powder. Take it,
along with the juice of half a lemon into the place within your
house that you least like, if your are really scared of a certain
room, or cupboard you are at a distinct advantage, then rub the lemon
juice into gums slowly, then the asprin, taking care to reach right
to the back of your mouth.
Now recite the following: mound-hill-viral-airborne-microcosm
Number three: Give up all intoxicants for a period of eighteen
months (this includes aesthetic as well as physical stimulants)
and also curtail your sexual activity. Collect the complete works
of Eric Von Daniken and Arthur C Clarke and pepare the following:
a super sci-fi volume. Taking the books in strict, alphabetical order
take one page of each until you have assembled a huge super volume.
Once read, you will understand.
There is a fourth way, but it's completion requires that were born
within a hundred miles of *The Internet*
And so the secrets out.